I chose my husband and my co-Director to complete the communication assessments. I was really surprised, but pleased to learn that we all assessed my communication skills similarly. I was surprised because I am always looking for ways to improve my communication style and hoping that others perceive my behaviors positively. I was pleased because both my husband and colleague see me as a positive and competent communicator.
The one thing that surprised me the most was that my colleague perceives me as more "business-like" than I see myself. She feels that I am very organized and I like things to be a certain way. I took that as meaning inflexible and serious. She laughed and said I over think things. I do. But, she disagreed with me and stated that I am a very flexible person. She admires how organized and detailed I am and she feels I am very passionate about my work. She told me to take "business-like" in a good way. Okay.
It was insightful to learn how they both responded to the questions based on how I am with them before, during, and after conversations. For my colleague, she thought about how I am with staff and parents and then my reactions to those conversations when I am alone with her in the office. We do a lot of venting with each other. She felt that even when I vent about uncomfortable or unpleasant situations I am always respectful of others. That was really good to hear. My husband thought about how I am sometimes anxious about dealing with difficult people.
It was also insightful to learn that my husband views me as a confident communicator and his score was almost exactly the same as mine. He missed my score by one point on each assessment! I guess he knows me as well as I know myself.
What I learned from these assessments will help me to continue to be supportive, considerate, and respectful. I think the information I have learned from these assessments will help me to consider how I am perceived by others and whether I need to adjust that perception and improve. I strive to improve everyday. It's always a learning process.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Friday, July 19, 2013
Week 3-Communication Strategies
When interacting with others I usually try to present myself in the best possible light. I do customize my communication depending on whom I am speaking to. For instance, I am very courteous and polite when speaking to the elderly and people who I feel have earned a higher level of respect because of their age. There were times when an older person did not deserve a "higher level of respect," but because of how I was raised I still hold my tongue and remain as respectful as possible. When talking with children I am gentle and carefree. I am completely uninhibited and I tend to go with the moment. When I talk to young people and teenagers I use slang and I am pretty casual unless it is an instance when I have to wear my "grown-up" hat. Then I am serious and more authoritative.
When interacting with college professors I want to be seen as an intellectual colleague. I am very conscious of the "preschool teacher" stereotype and I find myself trying to dispel the myth, so to speak. I have had situations where someone starts out speaking down to me and then their manner changes when they realize I can "keep up" with the conversation on their level. Sad, but true.
Because of my love of other languages and my travels, I use colloquialisms from other countries when speaking with people from places I am familiar with. For instance, I immediately fall into the habit of saying, "yea" at the end of sentences when interacting with friends from the UK, Australia, and New Zealand.
When interacting with people from various cultures I think I am always aware of my own race and culture and the impression I am making. I am often conflicted: I want to be seen as an individual, but I also want to be seen as a member of a group because I want people to realize that the negative stereotypes can't be applied to every member of the groups to which I belong. So, on the one hand they see me, but on the other hand I am trying to present an entire group of people in a positive manner so I become very conscious of my speech, behavior, dress, appearance, and nonverbal behavior.
I am probably most comfortable in speaking with friends and those I share cultural similarities with. I feel less guarded and I don't worry about being judged. We use slang and common expressions that are relevant to our age group and which reflect a familiarity from having grown up together.
Three strategies I could use for effective communication:
1. Being mindful of my nonverbal behavior and taking time to learn cultural rules and cues.
2. Consider the feelings and thoughts of others and the impact of my actions before I respond to others.
3. Asking questions when I need further understanding and being willing to admit when I don't know the answer.
When interacting with college professors I want to be seen as an intellectual colleague. I am very conscious of the "preschool teacher" stereotype and I find myself trying to dispel the myth, so to speak. I have had situations where someone starts out speaking down to me and then their manner changes when they realize I can "keep up" with the conversation on their level. Sad, but true.
Because of my love of other languages and my travels, I use colloquialisms from other countries when speaking with people from places I am familiar with. For instance, I immediately fall into the habit of saying, "yea" at the end of sentences when interacting with friends from the UK, Australia, and New Zealand.
When interacting with people from various cultures I think I am always aware of my own race and culture and the impression I am making. I am often conflicted: I want to be seen as an individual, but I also want to be seen as a member of a group because I want people to realize that the negative stereotypes can't be applied to every member of the groups to which I belong. So, on the one hand they see me, but on the other hand I am trying to present an entire group of people in a positive manner so I become very conscious of my speech, behavior, dress, appearance, and nonverbal behavior.
I am probably most comfortable in speaking with friends and those I share cultural similarities with. I feel less guarded and I don't worry about being judged. We use slang and common expressions that are relevant to our age group and which reflect a familiarity from having grown up together.
Three strategies I could use for effective communication:
1. Being mindful of my nonverbal behavior and taking time to learn cultural rules and cues.
2. Consider the feelings and thoughts of others and the impact of my actions before I respond to others.
3. Asking questions when I need further understanding and being willing to admit when I don't know the answer.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Week 3-Television Observation
I chose to watch the television program "Mad Men". This is a show I have never watched before. It is set in an advertising agency in New York in the 1960's. I believe late 1960's, but I am not sure.
In this particular episode most of the characters looked really angry or upset when communicating with someone when I had the sound off. Because I didn't have any idea of the storyline or the relationships between the characters, I found myself trying to create a story based on facial expressions, body language, style of dress; and the facial expressions and/or reactions of the characters after being spoken to or yelled at.
Since this show takes place in an advertising agency I was looking for signs to help me discern who was the boss or who had the power. I deduced that those dressed in the expensive looking suits were in power. Those who were more casually dressed I believed to be the employees. I had nothing to go on, other than my schemas from watching similar shows (O'Hair & Weimann, 2012).
I noticed the way the men sat down when talking to each other. They crossed their legs and they always made eye contact. There was something about the way certain characters held their poise that gave me the impression that they were in control and powerful. There was a lot of smoking and drinking at work in this program as well, which made characters seem powerful and in charge. (A definite throwback to another era). I wrongly assumed with the sound off that sitting close or moving closer was a sign of warmth between characters. It wasn't. They were actually threatening each other.
I watched the interactions between men and women and started trying to piece together who was having affairs or had a shady backstory and who was actually married to each other. When I watched with the sound on I was surprised at how well I guessed who was actually having affairs. The facial expressions and body language usually gave it away. What I missed entirely when the sound was off was identifying the ex-wives. Two of the male characters had ex-wives, but when they were speaking to them it looked so amicable and supportive. When I watched with the sound on I was surprised to discover they were actually speaking to their ex-wives. Here was my "aha" moment! My schemas had taught me that television "exes" don't get along. I was used to seeing anger depicted in divorced couples on television. With the sound off I saw compassion and support, so I assumed these women were secretaries, relatives, or possibly secret lovers. I thought back to our reading this week and how schemas can sometimes lead to misinformation or stereotyping (O'Hair & Weimann, 2012, p. 38). I was relying on misinformation from other television relationships.
I will admit that it was difficult watching a show I knew nothing about, with or without sound. I realized that what makes a show interesting is understanding the relationships of the characters and knowing their history or backstory. I realized that relationships are key to communication. As I watched people argue or act hostile towards someone, I didn't know who to cheer for or who to feel sorry for or whom to like or dislike. I also realized that I cannot judge people or make assumptions based on nonverbal communication. If I was watching a conversation from a distance, I am sure I would misjudge the non-verbal behavior to some extent.
Reference
O'Hair, D., & Weiman, M. (2012) Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
In this particular episode most of the characters looked really angry or upset when communicating with someone when I had the sound off. Because I didn't have any idea of the storyline or the relationships between the characters, I found myself trying to create a story based on facial expressions, body language, style of dress; and the facial expressions and/or reactions of the characters after being spoken to or yelled at.
Since this show takes place in an advertising agency I was looking for signs to help me discern who was the boss or who had the power. I deduced that those dressed in the expensive looking suits were in power. Those who were more casually dressed I believed to be the employees. I had nothing to go on, other than my schemas from watching similar shows (O'Hair & Weimann, 2012).
I noticed the way the men sat down when talking to each other. They crossed their legs and they always made eye contact. There was something about the way certain characters held their poise that gave me the impression that they were in control and powerful. There was a lot of smoking and drinking at work in this program as well, which made characters seem powerful and in charge. (A definite throwback to another era). I wrongly assumed with the sound off that sitting close or moving closer was a sign of warmth between characters. It wasn't. They were actually threatening each other.
I watched the interactions between men and women and started trying to piece together who was having affairs or had a shady backstory and who was actually married to each other. When I watched with the sound on I was surprised at how well I guessed who was actually having affairs. The facial expressions and body language usually gave it away. What I missed entirely when the sound was off was identifying the ex-wives. Two of the male characters had ex-wives, but when they were speaking to them it looked so amicable and supportive. When I watched with the sound on I was surprised to discover they were actually speaking to their ex-wives. Here was my "aha" moment! My schemas had taught me that television "exes" don't get along. I was used to seeing anger depicted in divorced couples on television. With the sound off I saw compassion and support, so I assumed these women were secretaries, relatives, or possibly secret lovers. I thought back to our reading this week and how schemas can sometimes lead to misinformation or stereotyping (O'Hair & Weimann, 2012, p. 38). I was relying on misinformation from other television relationships.
I will admit that it was difficult watching a show I knew nothing about, with or without sound. I realized that what makes a show interesting is understanding the relationships of the characters and knowing their history or backstory. I realized that relationships are key to communication. As I watched people argue or act hostile towards someone, I didn't know who to cheer for or who to feel sorry for or whom to like or dislike. I also realized that I cannot judge people or make assumptions based on nonverbal communication. If I was watching a conversation from a distance, I am sure I would misjudge the non-verbal behavior to some extent.
Reference
O'Hair, D., & Weiman, M. (2012) Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Friday, July 5, 2013
Competent Communication Wk 1
The person who instantly came to mind when I thought about competent communication was President Barack Obama. I am as far removed from politics as a person can be, yet President Obama manages to capture and hold my attention whenever he is speaking.
What I admire about his communication style is the fact that he is so engaging. He is a very eloquent speaker. He is clear, confident, and charismatic. He has a certain way of controlling words and getting his point across easily.
The presidential debates were an excellent demonstration of his ability to patiently listen and wait for his turn.
He has a certain swagger about him; he remains calm and cool, even when you know he is upset or angry.
What I would like is to have President Obama's confidence, control and charisma. I find myself listening to him even when I totally disagree with him or dislike what he is saying. I would like to be able to remain calm under pressure and maintain control over my temperament during a conversation that starts pushing my buttons.
What I admire about his communication style is the fact that he is so engaging. He is a very eloquent speaker. He is clear, confident, and charismatic. He has a certain way of controlling words and getting his point across easily.
The presidential debates were an excellent demonstration of his ability to patiently listen and wait for his turn.
He has a certain swagger about him; he remains calm and cool, even when you know he is upset or angry.
What I would like is to have President Obama's confidence, control and charisma. I find myself listening to him even when I totally disagree with him or dislike what he is saying. I would like to be able to remain calm under pressure and maintain control over my temperament during a conversation that starts pushing my buttons.
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